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SMMichiru - icera

sea_thoughts


The Sea of Stars

Water-stained pages, pebbles and traces of stardust


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Moment of Madness (Nephrite/Jupiter; PG-13)
SMMichiru - icera
sea_thoughts
Title: Moment of Madness
Author: Starsea
Medium: Fanfic
Theme: Indiscretion (First Person)
Genre: Romance
Version: Manga (Crystal Tokyo)
Rating: PG-13

I shouldn’t have let him. I shouldn’t have let him do it. I shouldn’t have said ‘yes’.

It was a good day, though. No, it was a fantastic day. The day when I finally signed the contract which made me sole owner of the building where I could open my bakery. I would have said yes to anything that day, to anyone. And I did.

I wanted everything moved into the store room before we started painting and redecorating. I needed to know that it was all there, ready to be unpacked and arranged: the mixers, the blenders, the bowls, the spoons, the books that were smudged with flour and salt. I knew Itto wanted to help but he was working and I couldn’t wait, not after so long… so I called Nephrite.

Don’t ask me how his number was in my phone. I don’t remember putting it in there.

I heard the surprise in his voice when I said his name but he didn’t let that stop him from agreeing to come and help me. He said he’d come and help me immediately. I suppose you could say he dropped everything. He didn’t have to do that. I mean, I didn’t ask him to drop everything… He must have heard the excitement in my voice. Yes, maybe I felt a little thrill run down my spine as I hung up. I didn’t pay any attention to that. I was excited about finally buying this place. That was all.

It only took ten minutes for him to arrive. Yes, maybe I took a moment to admire him when he pulled up, because he was wearing these tight dark jeans and this muscle shirt which showed off… well, Nephrite has a lot of muscles.

Where was I?

Things have been awkward between us since they returned – because of what they did, because of what he did, because I, you know, killed him. He told me that he didn’t blame me, that’s almost the first thing he told me when we were alone together. I said that was good because I didn’t feel guilty. And I don’t, I don’t feel guilty about what I did. I would kill him over again if the situation were the same. He knows that, I think. Maybe that’s why things are awkward between us. Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t blame me. Maybe it’s because he should resent me a little and he doesn’t. At all. I wish he would resent me.

That afternoon, thought, we were easy together. I was happy about the bakery, I was happy that everything was finally coming together, I was happy that he… that we… we were working together without any fighting. I kept looking at him and he was always looking at me, with this little smile on his face. I should have known then. I should have sent him away. But I didn’t. I was… flattered. No, flattered isn’t the right word.

I liked it.

When we’d unpacked half the boxes, I said I would make us some tea and he said he preferred coffee and then we started arguing over which was better… he made me laugh. That was another sign, another opportunity to send him away, if I’d been thinking properly. Except I wasn’t thinking much by then. When I’m around him… my brain seems to shut down. It used to mean that I got angry with him, angry with the King and Queen for letting him come back after everything he’d done. This time…

I was reaching for the coffee jar and he said he could do that and reached out instead. I remember his fingers brushing against mine. There was a shock – his power and mine reacting, recognising, but all I could feel was his skin and it was warm. He’s always been warm. He turned to me and then his fingers touched my cheek and then his lips touched my lips.

It was like the first crack of thunder after a long hot summer. The sudden relief, the certainty, the small voice inside me which said Ah God, finally, I’ve been waiting so long… I kissed him back. I kissed him hard. I put my hands on his body and then I ran one under his shirt. I can still remember how his skin felt under my fingers. It almost burnt me. I can still feel the ridges of the muscles and how they made me want to slide my hand down further, right into those tight jeans. I wanted to hear him groan.

Yes, I opened my mouth. I wanted to devour him at that moment. I wanted to push him down on the table, strip him and ride him all the way home. I licked his lips and then I slid my tongue against his and it felt good.

I didn’t hear the door open. I didn’t hear Itto’s voice. It was Nephrite who heard him, Nephrite who stepped back.

You want the truth? I’m not upset about the kiss. I’m upset that he stepped away.

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(Deleted comment)
Hee, I'm glad that the sexiness comes through. Thank you!

More Golden City fic! Oh yay, this makes me irrationally happy! I love what you did with the first-person narrative here, how you gave us this exqusitive look into Makoto's mind. It really explains everything, doesn't it. The fierceness of her reaction, how horribly Nephrite suffers in later installments of the fic, and precisely why Minako will be able to knock some sense into her. Love it. A

I wish he would resent me.
Argh, this is so sad. So, so sad. But so, so good. (I'm pre-first coffee of the day, sorry. Better (and more elaborate) words will come to me later.

For now, let me just say that I love it.

I love what you did with the first-person narrative here, how you gave us this exqusitive look into Makoto's mind. It really explains everything, doesn't it.

That's what I was aiming for! I'm glad you feel that this explains her reaction and his pain... and why Minako might be able to find a chink in Makoto's armour. :3

I wish he would resent me.
Argh, this is so sad. So, so sad. But so, so good.


It would make it easier for her if he was similarly conflicted. But he isn't.

I would kill him over again if the situation were the same. He knows that, I think. Maybe that’s why things are awkward between us.

*dies* YOU THINK?!

I was happy about the bakery, I was happy that everything was finally coming together, I was happy that he… that we… we were working together without any fighting. I kept looking at him and he was always looking at me, with this little smile on his face.

i love the way you wrote this whole thing in first person (which i live in fear of) and especially lines like this, where she's pretty much thinking out loud, and all the little mental pauses are there. perfect.

You want the truth? I’m not upset about the kiss. I’m upset that he stepped away.

and of course, last line is killer. i adore this, i've been waiting ages to see why exactly makoto is so pissed off! i mean, we know, but we don't, and this explains everything beautifully. squeeeee WRITE MORE!

*dies* YOU THINK?!

*giggles* Or maybe it's all the unresolved sexual tension.

and of course, last line is killer. i adore this, i've been waiting ages to see why exactly makoto is so pissed off! i mean, we know, but we don't, and this explains everything beautifully.

Oh good, I'm so glad. ^^; I was surprised by that last sentence but she refused to say any more so I had to end it there!

My hormones are all over the place, but I'm trying to focus XD.

The 1st person narrative is well done, it feels natural (the uneven pace mirroring her thought process and her emotions, the pauses... )and IC at the same time. It was pretty easy to empathyze with the lady ;D.
How dared you step away just when things were getting interesting, you juicy hunk you. RAWR.

It was pretty easy to empathyze with the lady ;D.
How dared you step away just when things were getting interesting, you juicy hunk you. RAWR.


*lol* Yeah, that's pretty much it. She's sort of in denial about her true intentions. If they hadn't been interrupted, they would definitely have gone all the way.

AJKLWEIOHFJASJL;VAJSIJVOIDSJOVIADJSFJAOISD OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG


THAT IS MY COMMENT.

THIS HAPPENS BEFORE THE PRAGUETRIP, RIGHT? NOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER PRAGUETRIP OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sea, I think you broke her.

Yeah, I feel kind of bad about it...

"Itto" is her husband/boyfriend right???


AJFKLSJFLKJSDLKFJKLDSJFL


OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG ALL SORTS OF OMG

Re: WAIT HOLD THE PHONE

Yes, he's her boyfriend. *cough* That's part of the problem.

Are you okay? ^^;

Yes, it does happen before Prague. I still have to write the Venus/Jupiter encounter before I even go near these two again (writing this was really hard, I hate doing that to him).

Edited at 2011-03-20 03:43 pm (UTC)

NO I'M BROKEN AND THE ONLY THING TO MAKE IT BETTER IS VENUS TALKING TO JUPITER AND THEN HAPPY M/N SMUTTING WITH THE TITS. Maybe some food and baby animals in there too.


Okay... Well, I can probably manage the food, the baby animals and the discussion. Not sure about the smut though.

I WILL TAKE WHATEVER YOU GIVE ME.

ooooh, I missed this one.

Awesome first person narration; I am so jealous! ;___; You did so so SO WELL with her voice, and that shit is hard, so you should definitely be proud.

I remember his fingers brushing against mine. There was a shock – his power and mine reacting, recognising,

YES, MAKO, I'M SURE THAT'S ALL IT IS.

Ugh, and it really does is explain everything. Nephrite's not just upset about the kiss (I always thought there was something off about that; should have known there was more to the story!), he's upset because he's worried about Mako because he is a sweet little puppy dog of a man. *snuggles* You can wear your muscle shirt for me any time, baby.

I can't wait to see so much more of this! I want Makoto and Nephrite, Makoto and Itto, ITTO AND NEPHRITE, and of course Minako/Kunzite for they rule my heart and soul.

You did so so SO WELL with her voice, and that shit is hard, so you should definitely be proud.

Thank you, thank you! I was a bit nervous about writing this in the first person, because I find Mako the hardest to characterise in my head. The others' voices were already distinct in my head but not Mako's, so this was a bit of a challenge for me. And I was also nervous about her being in character any way, so I'm glad I pulled it off.


YES, MAKO, I'M SURE THAT'S ALL IT IS.

*snort* It wouldn't be UST or anything like that, noooo.

it really does is explain everything

Yay! I was worried about that, too.

Nephrite's not just upset about the kiss (I always thought there was something off about that; should have known there was more to the story!), he's upset because he's worried about Mako because he is a sweet little puppy dog of a man. *snuggles*

Yeah, he's definitely a puppy dog, but 'little'? Not a word I'd ever use for Nephrite! *lol* Honestly, I see him as a Bernese Mountain puppy. With added muscle. X3

I promise there will be more Minako/Kunzite in the next story.

I say little ironically. xD I would actually love to be friends with him and refer to him as being tiny and wimpy and tons of things he is not and then force him to carry me everywhere. xDDDDDD

*snort* I see. ;) Is he like the aperitif and Kunzite's the main meal?

See, though I love Nephrite, I would much rather be best buds with him. I don't often find uber-muscley men attractive, which might have something to do with it... Also, I think I told you I had a dream where I was Ken's little sister, and it was AWESOME, and now the idea of dating him is blech.

And Zoisite is my shopping buddy and Jadeite is my snark buddy.

We all know what kind of buddy I would like Kunzite to be.

I do remember that dream! Ken would be an awesome big brother for a girl, if a little embarrassing and TOTALLY intimidating to potential boyfriends. *lol* He makes a great friend, though.

I would love to hear you and Isamu ripping apart a Twilight movie together.

We all know what kind of buddy I would like Kunzite to be.

One with lots and lots of benefits.

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