Theme: Indiscretion (First Person)
Version: Manga (Crystal Tokyo)
I shouldn’t have let him. I shouldn’t have let him do it. I shouldn’t have said ‘yes’.
It was a good day, though. No, it was a fantastic day. The day when I finally signed the contract which made me sole owner of the building where I could open my bakery. I would have said yes to anything that day, to anyone. And I did.
I wanted everything moved into the store room before we started painting and redecorating. I needed to know that it was all there, ready to be unpacked and arranged: the mixers, the blenders, the bowls, the spoons, the books that were smudged with flour and salt. I knew Itto wanted to help but he was working and I couldn’t wait, not after so long… so I called Nephrite.
Don’t ask me how his number was in my phone. I don’t remember putting it in there.
I heard the surprise in his voice when I said his name but he didn’t let that stop him from agreeing to come and help me. He said he’d come and help me immediately. I suppose you could say he dropped everything. He didn’t have to do that. I mean, I didn’t ask him to drop everything… He must have heard the excitement in my voice. Yes, maybe I felt a little thrill run down my spine as I hung up. I didn’t pay any attention to that. I was excited about finally buying this place. That was all.
It only took ten minutes for him to arrive. Yes, maybe I took a moment to admire him when he pulled up, because he was wearing these tight dark jeans and this muscle shirt which showed off… well, Nephrite has a lot of muscles.
Where was I?
Things have been awkward between us since they returned – because of what they did, because of what he did, because I, you know, killed him. He told me that he didn’t blame me, that’s almost the first thing he told me when we were alone together. I said that was good because I didn’t feel guilty. And I don’t, I don’t feel guilty about what I did. I would kill him over again if the situation were the same. He knows that, I think. Maybe that’s why things are awkward between us. Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t blame me. Maybe it’s because he should resent me a little and he doesn’t. At all. I wish he would resent me.
That afternoon, thought, we were easy together. I was happy about the bakery, I was happy that everything was finally coming together, I was happy that he… that we… we were working together without any fighting. I kept looking at him and he was always looking at me, with this little smile on his face. I should have known then. I should have sent him away. But I didn’t. I was… flattered. No, flattered isn’t the right word.
I liked it.
When we’d unpacked half the boxes, I said I would make us some tea and he said he preferred coffee and then we started arguing over which was better… he made me laugh. That was another sign, another opportunity to send him away, if I’d been thinking properly. Except I wasn’t thinking much by then. When I’m around him… my brain seems to shut down. It used to mean that I got angry with him, angry with the King and Queen for letting him come back after everything he’d done. This time…
I was reaching for the coffee jar and he said he could do that and reached out instead. I remember his fingers brushing against mine. There was a shock – his power and mine reacting, recognising, but all I could feel was his skin and it was warm. He’s always been warm. He turned to me and then his fingers touched my cheek and then his lips touched my lips.
It was like the first crack of thunder after a long hot summer. The sudden relief, the certainty, the small voice inside me which said Ah God, finally, I’ve been waiting so long… I kissed him back. I kissed him hard. I put my hands on his body and then I ran one under his shirt. I can still remember how his skin felt under my fingers. It almost burnt me. I can still feel the ridges of the muscles and how they made me want to slide my hand down further, right into those tight jeans. I wanted to hear him groan.
Yes, I opened my mouth. I wanted to devour him at that moment. I wanted to push him down on the table, strip him and ride him all the way home. I licked his lips and then I slid my tongue against his and it felt good.
I didn’t hear the door open. I didn’t hear Itto’s voice. It was Nephrite who heard him, Nephrite who stepped back.
You want the truth? I’m not upset about the kiss. I’m upset that he stepped away.