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The Sea of Stars

Water-stained pages, pebbles and traces of stardust


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The Tudors - A Rant

I have to preface this by saying that I watch The Tudors mainly because it makes me laugh inside: it is history as written by Jackie Collins and usually, I'm okay with that. Usually, it doesn't try to be serious and it gets away with it becuase the actors are pretty and some of them (Natalie Dormer, James Frain) are even good at what they do. But I just watched the seventh episode and I have to have a little rant about some of the things I saw.

OH MY GOD, what is up with this series and people committing suicide? Bad enough when it was Wolsey but it JUST HAPPENED AGAIN! So the lady in waiting didn't mind getting all touchy feely with Thomas Wyatt but Catherine's death was so terrible that she hanged herself? It makes me want to bash the script writers' heads against the wall. Not only does Thomas wandering through that empty house calling her name make him look incredibly stupid but how the hell did she get up there? There isn't even a chair, just a body! How many times to I have to tell you people that SUICIDE IS THE WORST SIN YOU CAN POSSIBLY COMMIT IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH? NO limbo, NO chance of redemption through your relatives' prayers for your soul, you go STRAIGHT to hell and don't come back, and PEOPLE BELIEVED IN HELL AS A REAL PLACE. Hell wasn't just some abstract idea, hell didn't "exist here on earth", hell was for real and FOR EVER. Suicide is seen as giving up on God, which is a very big no-no. I'm not saying it never happened but for someone as religious as that character? WTF? You just wanted more angst for Thomas, didn't you? It's not enough that the lady he loves rejects him, marries the King of England, then gets beheaded for not providing a son, oh no, you've gotta have his rebound hang herself. It's just ridiculous. (I don't believe that people go to hell if they commit suicide, by the way, but that's what people believed in the sixteenth century, where this series is SUPPOSED to be set.)

Also, Mark Smeaton asking George Boleyn if he'd told her about his homosexuality is totally laughable because IT WAS ILLEGAL. This isn't the twenty-first century, you idiots. Homosexuality was not something people condoned or even accepted. It was a SIN. See my rant above about suicide and sin. You would be executed in a very painful way if you were found guilty. George hasn't even told his parents or sister about it, so why does Mark ask if he's told his wife? Oh, and George? You might not have had problems with your wife if you hadn't RAPED her. -_- A little kindness goes a looooooong way.

What's with the random monastery showing up all of a sudden? If we'd been following these monks from the beginning and seeing how the changes affected them, it would make more sense, but it's obvious you just shoved those scenes in to add yet more drama. (They were actually quite effective. Just wish there'd been some BACKGROUND to them.)

Sadly had to say goodbye to Maria Doyle Kennedy as Catherine in this episode. I will miss her, she was a fantastic actress and she gave Catherine such dignity and presence. Now I'm only watching for Natalie Dormer. Most dramas tend to miss out Anne's temper and her hysterical qualities, so I'm glad that these are being addressed, and the fear which exaggerated them. I can't be the only person who silently cheered when she slapped her father down about keeping quiet and making trouble. (What a load of bollocks: the real Thomas Boleyn certainly raised Anne to be intelligent and opinionated, that's why he sent her to France.) But she NEVER said "She is my death and I am hers" about MARY, you dumbos, she said it about CATHERINE. And in a creepy way, she was right, because Catherine's death cleared the way for Henry to get rid of her if he wanted to do so, and of course in the end, he did. Also, how does Elizabeth go from a mop-headed toddler at the beginning of the episode to a red-head child at the end? Talk about random telescoping. (That reminds me of a rant from a previous episode: DON'T put words in Henry's mouth about Elizabeth "ruling over empires". He was always focued on getting a BROTHER for her, so the brother could rule over England. Clumsy foreshadowing is not your friend.)

I know that The Tudors is not meant to be taken seriously, I know that. But I can't forgive basic mistakes like that, I just can't.

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